This has been bothering me for quite sometime now and thought would share my 222 cents on the backbones being instrumental for Male chauvinism to be high on the hog.
Chauvinism as widely understood in its original and primary meaning, is an exaggerated, bellicose patriotism and a blind belief in superiority and glory. By extension it has come to include an extreme and unreasoning partisanship on behalf of any group to which one belongs, especially when the partisanship includes malice and hatred towards a rival group.
Male chauvinism is a term used to describe the belief that men are superior to women. It is widely used to describe men who believe or display an attitude that women are inferior to men,speak to women as inferiors, or treat women negatively based solely upon their gender. The concept of male chauvinism itself got popular only after the 1960's which makes me think prior to 1960 even if it was prevalent, the females were either not bothered or accepted male chauvinism gracefully as their way of life. To the females then, probably men were their demi gods and there should not have been anything disturbing about their attitudes. If not, the noise about male chauvinism would have started as early as Eve's days.
Considering the 2 definitions above, clearly chauvinism is an attitude/belief. American Psychological Association has announced a study that shows that attitudes are learned, but that differences between people in some of the attitudes are also partly attributable to genetic factors. No child is born with an attitude. Hence male chauvinism as an attitude has to be acquired and can never be inherited. So if it is acquired, I wonder who plays the key role in shaping up such a disgraceful demeanor in men. When I gave it a serious thought, I was shocked to realize that its the female community who act as the major drivers in planting this shady mental outlook in the males. I have some interesting facts to substantiate my stand.
Right from the stage of conception of a child traces of chauvinism start getting displayed. We have heard enough stories on female infanticides which is the heights of male chauvinism. This custom may have been created and perpetuated by men for selfish reasons but who are the sincere carriers of this cruel act? It is a universally accepted theory that women are gentle and men are rough - also one of the historical reasons stated for mothers to be the torch bearers in the raising of a child. According to me this is the lamest excuse one can think of to escape the hardships in child rearing but for the time being let me stay tuned to the hypothesis. But here, aren't we talking about infanticides which is no more than a merciless murder - who other than the so-called rough soles can be eligible to perform this esteemed act? Unfortunately according to some studies, more than 16 million baby girls a year in India are killed by their mothers or by village midwives who happen to be women again. How can a mother having gone through the difficulties of pregnancy, instead of cherishing the result join hands for such a shameless feat?
Rules/Customs/Rituals can be framed by any one but its success or failure is solely in the hands of the followers. If only the followers, in this case the women, have intended to break the rules we wouldn't have had infanticide tales all over the country. Or if infanticide is the only available option, let the men take care of that. Why should women be presiding over this ordeal??? Coming to think of it, unless someone is thoroughly convinced that what they are doing is right, we wouldn't even be having such high numbers for female infanticides. Does that mean women are really convinced to be actively performing this evil which is nothing but a sheer display of chauvinism?
The strength of women in any village/town/dwelling area should definitely be equal or greater than the men. If all of them get together for a noble cause and raise their voice, cant such an implacable act be nibbed right in the bud? Its after all our community that is being forced into extinction. If only we think, cooperate without any hidden agenda we could have altered the fates of a number of innocent souls who were made to kiss the eternal abode within minutes of their birth for no fault of theirs. Needless to mention unity and women are obvious oxymorons!
Ideally for a lower middle/middle class family struggling to meet their ends, any kid should be a drain on the family's resources. Why only female kids are seen as an expense and male kids an income? In reality, in most cases its the girls who share the responsibility and earn the living for a family than the sons who follow footsteps of a reckless unreliable father. Ironically the family would celebrate the birth of a boy and condemn the girl.
As the child grows, there is an enormous difference in the treatment the girls and boys receive within the same four walls of a house. To quantify, the difference is to such an extent that one even wonders if they are even born to the same parents. Times are definitely changing but there were days/families where the boys would be honored with the royal treatment and girls their cheapest aides.. Girls will be bound to take up all the activities right from assisting the mom to running errands for every other soul in the house in addition to the school work if at all she is blessed with schooling.
It would be considered a crime if the boy of the house even polishes his own shoes. His poor sisters will be his maids-at-service. Why cant a boy child participate in household chores? Who sets these rules at home? Will the world turn upside down if the little master takes his own dinner plate to the wash area? Do you think the fathers insist on these senseless traditions? Hell no. Seemingly its the fathers who are more attached to the girls. But the burden of the household chores is solely on the girls. Then who does these magical wonders - obviously the Rajaji's in framing the home constitution are the mothers and we crib day in and day out about "male chauvinism."
The icing on the cake will be when the girl turns 13/15. She would be written off full term for room service and good house keeping. Just typically it would have been the girl who would have thrived with flying colors at school and boy would have been utmost an average student. But the parents will be adamant in investing on averages but clip the wings of proficients. Why cant mothers stand up for their daughters? Is it too much to ask for? Interestingly it will be the mothers who would be brain washing their daughters for such a pathetic lifestyle.
Marriage - this is yet another drop in the ocean. Marriage by definition is a social definition or a legal contract between 2 individuals that creates kinship. A successful marriage is only possible with gives and takes. Unfortunately the unsaid "deal" is that the woman always gives burning all her bridges and the men always take. Why cant it be the vice versa? The men want every moment of their wives, nailed to the floor doing the job they are hired for and inturn offering very little compassion or none in many cases. The tutorials for being the most "obedient" (custom defined) wife/daughter-in-law will be due diligently coming only from the grand mothers/great grand mothers (if any)/mothers/long forgotten aunts who promptly make their presence only in such occasions /cousin sisters who have tasted the insights of a married life/so-called friendly aunts in the neighborhood who are known to rule the society with their powerful gossips and possibly every other lady in town...have any of us even heard of such mentoring sessions for the grooms?
Once in a blue-moon if any of the ladies get out of their strained shell, the first ones to criticize them for their dare devil deal breaking act will be the "Her Highness's" in town!!Why? Shouldn't we be appreciative of our counterparts for taking the first bright steps? Instead why do we belittle our friends?
The seeds of submission are sown at the time of a girl's birth by our own breeds and grows into a tree whose branches begin to choke us throughout our lifetime. We struggle all through not knowing whether to chop it down or hope that it would wither on its own. We are our own foes and trouble makers..we don't need any external species to manipulate us. We get trained for it royally by our own motherly ancestors and ridiculously we call all this drama that we bestow upon us as "Male chauvinism"!!
On one hand we try to grab every other opportunity, spare no forums/clubs/arenas and scream from all corners on earth about the chauvinistic men while on the other, we aggressively lay a strong foundation to work for the betterment of male chauvinism. Unless the needle permits, a thread can never find its way through. It does no good to spread a net when the bird you want to catch is watching...creating such a big fuss about male chauvinism will take us no where when we have such huge issues with our own attitudes!!
